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THE HERALD, Sharon, Pa., September 27, 2011; ALLIED NEWS, Grove City, Pa., September 28, 2011
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SAT. OCT. 1
ST
AT
9:00 A.M.
ASK
CARLEY
Q: My maid of honor
dropped out because she
doesn’t approve of my future
husband (who’s great, by the
way), and he’s now trying to
work things out between the
two of them. Assuming my
maid of honor doesn’t come
back, should I ask one of my
bridesmaids to step in to re-
place her?
A:
Honestly, it’s a better
idea to just go without a maid
of honor. Promoting one
bridesmaid, though it would
be nice of you, might send
the wrong message to your
other ladies. Also, in the
event your maid of honor
does come back, at least
you’ll be the better person for
not replacing her.
Lots of brides get married
without a maid of honor be-
cause they couldn’t choose
one bridesmaid over another.
Think of it
that way.
Q: Our en-
g a g e d
friends are
copying our
wedding --
same venue,
same band,
even similar
colors! Many
of the same
guests will
be there.
They’re totally copying our
wedding. Can I speak up?
A:
In a word, no.
Think about it this way:
Your friends loved your wed-
ding -- they loved it so much,
they want to use some of
your vendors. Be flattered.
Besides, guests either won’t
notice the resemblance or
they’ll think that your friends
must have admired your
style.
Either way, approaching
the bride and groom about
copying will appear petty.
Plus, there’s no way your
friends’ wedding could ever
be the same as yours. The
fact that you and your hus-
band are inherently different
than your friends means that
the weddings are different,
too.
Q: Should I include “and
guest” on save-the-dates, or
is that only for invites?
A:
The problem with in-
cluding “and guest” on save-
the-dates is you can’t take it
back on the actual invitations;
and a lot can change between
the two mailing dates.
If you have to tighten your
budget midway through the
planning process, you’re
stuck with all of those “and
guests.” It’s better just to wait
to mention it until you send
out the invitations, and try to
replace the “and guest” refer-
ences with the dates’ actual
names wherever you can.
Q: Everything I’ve read
says the bride and groom
should never be the ones to
tell people where they’re
registered. But when I set up
my wedding website, there
was a page where I could
list registries. Should I
delete this page, or am I
over-thinking this?
A:
You’re over-thinking it.
It’s true you should never
mention anything about gifts
on your invitations. But it’s
absolutely OK to list registry
info on your wedding website
and then direct guests there
(to your site, but not specifi-
cally to the registry) via a
card included with the invites.
Or you can have your site
printed on your save-the-date.
If you don’t have or want a
wedding website, don’t worry
-- your guests will figure out
where you’re registered.
They can call someone in the
wedding party or your mom.
Carley Roney, co-founder
and editor in chief of The Knot,
the nation’s leading wedding
resource, advises millions of
brides on modern wedding eti-
quette at www.theknot.com.
Scripps Howard News Service
Carley
Roney
The Knot