Suicide prevention: Reach out, hear

By Tom Fontaine
Herald Staff Writer

“Suicide is an act, not a disease. It is preventable,” said Ms. Grizinski, licensed social worker and associate executive director of Help Hotline Crisis Center, Youngstown.

Ms. Grizinski spoke Wednesday at Artman Elementary School, Hermitage, about suicide prevention. Her presentation, sponsored by the Hermitage Executive PTO, was part of an adolescent health forum in the district.

There have been long-harbored myths regarding suicide, Ms. Grizinski said. “People always said, ‘Shhh, don’t mention it. It will all blow over.’ People thought that talking about it would only encourage suicide and lead everyone to suicidal thinking. But talking about it decreases suicide,” she said.

“We have to confront it naturally and honestly,” she added. Ms. Grizinski said suicide is a nondiscriminatory killer that takes more lives annually than murder. Suicide deaths have tripled since the 1960s, and 80 percent of the time warning signs were given, she said.

Suicide is the third-leading killer of young people, she added. Ms. Grizinski said suicide prevention hinges on spotting warning signs and on communication. Spotting warning signs is not always an exact science. Sometimes what is growing up can be misconstrued as a warning sign, Ms. Grizinski said.

For instance, music or television does not cause suicide, but parents still need “to investigate if there is an occupation with death themes ... and determine if it is a clue or if it’s just the particular kind of music they like,” she said.

Hermitage Superintendent Dr. Louis C. Mastrian said children’s artwork can offer signs. “Does a child use a black crayon only? Are the figures in the drawing far apart? Are there no smiles on the people? These could be clues,” he said.

Other clues that are disguised as “a normal part of growing up” include personality changes, strange eating habits, impulsive behavior and stress.

“Many of these are normal ... Stress (for instance) is a natural part of life. We try to evade it, but to stop stress we have to be dead. We should work to reduce it when we can, but not to eliminate it,” she said.

Ms. Grizinski added that children express stress in terms of pain, like sore backs and achy legs. Also linked with stress is tunnel vision. “It’s a defense mechanism that makes us think we have to focus on our problems (to solve them). We have to open up tunnel vision and let people know that we’re here and that there’s help available,” she said.

Because of the ambiguity of warning signs, open lines of communication between parents and children are important, Ms. Grizinski added.

Most people who think about committing suicide talk about it. “Any time someone verbalizes it, we have to confront it,” Ms. Grizinski said.

If a child blurts out a death wish, parents should not get angry, dismiss the threat or simply say, “Don’t do it.” Young people don’t like to be criticized, snubbed or told what to do by parents, she added.

What to do: “Repeat and reflect,” Ms. Grizinski said. “If a child says, ‘I just wanna die,’ pause. Repeat back to them what they said and then shut up. Listen.”

But often the threats aren’t so clear. “A vague threat is often the scariest. You really have to listen and be upfront,” she said.

“Do not trivialize the concerns of children. Empathize. Young people, and all people, want people to listen to them and they want to feel validated,” Ms. Grizinski said. “Your role as caregiver or simply as an adult puts you in a position to help. We cannot be complacent and think that this could never happen to our families, or in our neighborhoods or communities,” she added.

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