Jennifer Johnson was only 6 years old when her mother, Darlene, died in a car accident in Farrell.

But now, nearly 12 years later, the 18-year-old Sharon High School junior is still coming to terms with her mother's death.

"I've always believed that my mom was going to come back and say, 'Jennifer, I'm here. I've come back to get you,' " she said. "Now it's coming to reality."

On Nov. 9, 1990, while driving on Highland Street in Farrell, Jennifer's mother's car lost its brakes. As the car careened down the hill, Jennifer said, her mother prayed that she and her older sister, Neva, who were also in the car, would be all right.

"My mom blew her horn, and my sister grabbed me. My head hit the windshield and my sister broke her hip," Jennifer said. "The whole time down the hill, Mom was praying."

The car crashed into the side of a vacant Sharon Steel Corp. building. Bricks fell on the car. The steering wheel crushed Jennifer's mother's chest.

Although Jennifer's mother died 15 minutes after she got to the hospital, Jennifer, who was hospitalized herself for two months, did not find out until several weeks later.

"I was in shock for four hours (when I found out)," she said.

When an unexpected or violent death occurs, the grieving period for the survivors can be lengthy.

"The difference is that when somebody dies in an accident or a murder, or any type of unexpected death, you have no chance to say good-bye," said Mary VanSickles, coordinator of grief services at the John Flynn Funeral Home in Hermitage.

"You have no closure. You have the extra grief of having to figure out what their last words were, if they were hurting ... it makes your grief even stronger and it sometimes actually lasts longer."

When children are involved, sometimes adults want to "hurry up and make things better," said Jodie Moroco, counselor with Sharon Regional Health System's hospice program and HELLO program. An adult may try to rush a child into counseling, when the child may not be ready.

"The first thing you try to deal with is, kids don't always know what's happening," Ms. Moroco said. "I tell (the parents), you have to tell them."

"People try to express death in a 'better' way," Jennifer said. "There is no better way. You can put it a nicer way, but not a different way."

Ms. Moroco said when she talks with children, she sits down with them and tries to explain the scenario as appropriately as she can.

Jennifer said when her mother died, the rest of her family was quiet about it. She said doctors told her that her mother was sleeping.

She didn't even go to her mother's funeral. She wasn't given the option, as she was still in the hospital.

"Kids should be able to decide if they want to go to the funeral," Ms. Moroco said.

Now, 12 years later, Jennifer is still dealing with the pain of her mother's death and the effect of the accident on herself. She's afraid to drive because of it.

"I don't want a license. I'm afraid of other cars. I'm just afraid I may do something wrong. The whole thought of driving scares me," she said.

Jennifer also has to face her life knowing her mother will never be there.

"With Jennifer, she's missing the whole mom experience," Ms. Moroco said. Although her older sister takes care of her, she can't fully take the place of her mother, she said.

Jennifer said her whole family has been talking more openly about her mother's death, and her counseling sessions with Ms. Moroco have helped her.

She recently visited the cemetery with her dad, which she said was a good thing for them to do together.

"There's a hole in my heart because I don't know her," Jennifer said. "I miss her, but I don't know her to miss her."