Kaitlyn, 7, and Triston, 4, wanted to start decorating for Easter. Their mother, Lynnett Beck, 25, of Mercer-West Middlesex Road, Lackawannock Township, began to look for the baskets, eggs and bunnies.

Then she remembered that her husband had been the one to pack them away after the holiday last spring.

But instead of waiting for him to get home from work, she had to wait for him to get off duty so he could take her call. Her husband, Sgt. Cory Beck, is at Fort Dix, N.J., waiting for his orders.

And knowing that he may be headed into the middle of a war soon has made the little things like decorating Easter eggs with her kids another big reminder that she and her kids are missing her husband and their father in a big way.

"I'm getting back to being used to being the only one again," Mrs. Beck said, referring to that additional responsibility with her children and home. Her husband, a 1996 graduate of West Middlesex High School, went to Fort Dix at the end of February and has had all the training and medical shots needed to go to Iraq. He's just waiting for the official word.

Mrs. Beck said that good-byes this time were a lot harder than when her husband left for Bosnia almost two years ago for a seven-month tour of duty.

"It was a totally different good-bye because of the different circumstances. It was even harder on him. We were breaking down a little bit that way," Mrs. Beck said.

Her husband had been back from Bosnia for almost a year when he got the call to duty again in February. Mrs. Beck said he had been on 72-hour call for a month prior to his leaving.

"That was absolute torture. We couldn't plan anything. He wanted a week to just spend with his family. We didn't want it to come, but it was so much stress. Now that we've said our good-byes, I know it won't be as hard as the waiting before."

But those same good-byes have brought some hard realities for the family, especially for the children, now that they're a little older. "I've got to be there for the kids, even though it's hard sometimes. What's hardest is just the kids' reactions to different situations now," Mrs. Beck said.

After he left, she found out that her daughter, whom she calls a "little trooper," had been crying at school during recess, but not at home. "When I asked her why, she told me, 'Because I don't want to make you cry. I don't want to make you sad.' I told her to come to me and we would cry together."

Her 4-year-old son is still trying to understand the concept of his father being away for a long time. "He had been asking every day, 'When's daddy coming home?' I kept saying things like after Christmas, or when you're 5 or Kaitlyn is 8."

Beck is supposed to serve a yearlong tour of duty this time.

She also told of the time her son turned to the war coverage on television. "He was at his grandmother's, and when she came back into the room he was in and saw what was on, she sat down with him and let him watch for a little bit because she didn't want to scare him by quickly shutting it off. When she asked if they could change the channel, he said, 'Good, I think it's almost over anyway.' "

Mrs. Beck calls herself a "worrywart" and said that sometimes steeling herself for the worst is how she copes. But she said the faith she and Cory share in God and the support of family and friends give her strength and hope.

"Just prayer and my faith in God -- that he's in God's hands. My friends and co-workers and family and church family have been great also. I try to switch those negative thoughts to good ones," she said. "I can't just up and quit."

And although the Becks have been able to communicate via telephone and sometimes the Internet, that doesn't always make it better. "It just makes you miss him all the more after you talk to him."

Friday evening, she said he still hadn't been given the official word, but it would be soon. "I had a daily calendar book made at Staples and had someone write a note of encouragement on each day so that every day he has something from home to read."

She said her husband is doing what he wants to do -- serve in the military -- and it's something of a family tradition. Beck's father served in Korea and his grandfather served in the 99th Battalion of the Army, the same battalion as Cory. Beck serves in the 307th Company of the Military Police, out of New Kensington.