All Deborah Wright wants to do is wake up and see her daughter Bertha -- known as "Ellie" -- and her 3-year-old grandson Caleb.

Instead she continues to live in what she calls "a living nightmare" that began in June 2002. A year later, her daughter has taken the toddler and fled from a court order and Mrs. Wright says she doesn't know where they are.

In June 2002, Ms. Wright was in Cancun, Mexico, and Caleb was staying with her parents until she came back. Caleb's father, Neil Balcer, had died about a year before in a kayaking accident in Slippery Rock Creek. The couple were not married.

When Ms. Wright left for Mexico, her mother said she asked her parents to keep the boy and not let him visit his paternal grandparents, who have homes in Boyers and Ambridge, "because it was the first time she had been away from him for an extended period of time and also because she was concerned about some inappropriate comments (the paternal grandfather) had made prior to her leaving."

Mrs. Wright said he asked Ms. Wright about a sundress that his wife had bought for her to wear on the honeymoon Ms. Wright and their son never enjoyed.

Mrs. Wright said her daughter told the paternal grandparents not to take Caleb to their home.

Mrs. Wright said her daughter had asked Caleb's paternal grandparents to visit the boy at the Wrights' home at 959 N. Broad St. Ext. in Pine Township. Ms. Wright and Caleb lived with her parents.

One morning while Ms. Wright was in Mexico, Mrs. Wright said she left Caleb at home with her daughter-in-law while she went to check on her husband and sons at the family business. Mrs. Wright said the boy's paternal grandparents showed up shortly after for a visit.

"When I got back home, my young daughter-in-law was crying and said that they came and took Caleb, that they got him out of bed in his pajamas. I thought, 'this is crazy,' " Mrs. Wright said.

Mrs. Wright said she was worried about Caleb and wondering where his paternal grandparents had taken him when she heard a horn beep and saw them parked on the road in front of their home.

"I went out and asked them 'What are you doing?' and they said 'We're taking Caleb. Don't be mad.' They were acting real weird. It was just after the first anniversary of their son's death," she said.

After a while, Mrs. Wright went to the couple's home in Boyers where she found Caleb and the couple.

She said Caleb seemed upset, was dirty and had dog hair on him. Mrs. Wright said she could tell he needed his diaper changed, so she changed it.

That's when she noticed his genitals seemed red and sore and the 2-year-old complained that he hurt.

"I should have taken him to the hospital, but I didn't believe that (Caleb's paternal grandfather) would do that. I called his mom and she didn't believe he would do that," Mrs. Wright said.

"I will regret the next three days for the rest of my life. I should have had a physical exam right away for sexual abuse. I kept wanting to think something else happened."

She took Caleb to a doctor three days later who said any chance of finding physical evidence was slim at that point.

A couple of weeks later, while Caleb's mother was at work, Mrs. Wright said Caleb's paternal grandfather returned to her home and insisted on taking Caleb for a walk in his stroller. She said she didn't want to allow it, but he was "very forceful about it."

Mrs. Wright said she and other family members tried to keep an eye on Caleb and his grandfather but kept losing sight of them on the road and in their yard. She said she heard Caleb scream and said her other daughter saw the grandfather sexually aroused and "french kissing" the boy. The family called state police and reported the incident, Mrs. Wright said.

No criminal charges were filed as a result of the Wrights' report.

Also, Butler County Children and Youth Services, which investigated the incidents in Boyers and Pine Township, found both claims of abuse were without merit.

But the allegations of abuse began a year of investigations and led to a court order three months ago that Mrs. Wright said sent her daughter into hiding.

That was when Mercer County Judge Michael J. Wherry ordered that the paternal grandparents be granted joint custody of Caleb with Ms. Wright and weekend visitation rights with the paternal grandfather supervised by the paternal grandmother.

Ms. Wright sought a protection-from-abuse order last July to keep her son away from his paternal grandparents and they filed for joint custody on the same day.

Both Ms. Wright's PFA request and the grandparents' custody claim were put on hold while Butler County Children and Youth Services investigated the allegations. After that investigation was completed, Wherry made his ruling.

Ms. Wright took Caleb and went into hiding before a scheduled visit with the paternal grandparents in April.

"My daughter said 'I will give up my freedom,' " Mrs. Wright said.

"We felt like we were being punished because Caleb disclosed abuse. And Caleb's being punished for telling he was being sexually assaulted," Mrs. Wright said.

In May, at a hearing on the paternal grandparents' claim of being denied visitation, with Ms. Wright's whereabouts unknown, Wherry ordered that they would keep Caleb in their care if he was found and Ms. Wright would be placed under arrest when she was found.

He also ruled that if Mrs. Wright, her husband David Wright, or their daughter Sarah interfered with custody "directly or indirectly" they would each be fined $100 a day for each day "the child is not produced," according to court documents.

Mrs. Wright claims that Wherry's April ruling was improper because it was the result of a PFA hearing. "To change custody of a child, you have to have a custody hearing. You can modify custody if you grant a PFA. But the PFA against the (paternal grandparents) was denied."

Mrs. Wright said Wherry yelled at the Wright family for taping Bible verses on their door.

"We put them on the door prior to the (paternal grandparents) visit ... The judge said the (verses) were a threat to the (paternal grandparents) and told us to take them down. We said 'no.' "

In June, Butler County CYS was ordered by the state to reopen the sexual abuse claims based on a report from Eden Forensic Institute that Ms. Wright's attorney requested. According to published reports, the Eden report recommends the paternal grandfather undergo sexual abuse evaluation.

On Wednesday, Wherry canceled his decision to place Caleb in the paternal grandparents' custody on the recommendation of Butler County CYS, which stated in a petition that it "would not be advisable to place the child with an alleged perpetrator."

They also asked Caleb be placed in foster care, claiming that "it would be in the best interest of the child to place him in an approved foster home until he has been interviewed in connection with the abuse allegations."

Wherry agreed to placing the boy in foster care if he can be found. Wherry also vacated Ms. Wright's bench warrant. She will not be arrested if he she returns home.

"I think that its unconscionable for a judge to take a child away from his mother," said Mrs. Wright. Ms. Wright's attorney, Carol Kowall of Pittsburgh, argued the same thing before Wherry and objected to a government agency seizing a child from a mother who has never been accused of mistreating him.

Mrs. Wright made it clear that they never intended things to turn out the way they have and had no intention of smearing the reputation of the paternal grandparents.

"We've had the hardest time even believing it happened. We just did not want to believe it. I mean, this is our grandchild. This is their grandchild," she said.

"We're just in the middle of a nightmare," she said. "Easter came with no Ellie. Mother's Day came -- no Ellie. Father's Day came, not Ellie. She just turned 22. He's only 3. Its grown into an insane situation."

Calls to the paternal grandparents, who are not identified because no charges have been filed, were not returned.

You can e-mail Herald Staff Writer Sherris Moreira-Byers at sbyers@sharonherald.com

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