Judy Shepard on Thursday shared her story and pain at Westminster College as part of a nationwide effort to oppose discrimination and hatred against minorities, particularly gays and lesbians.

The Shepard family experienced hatred in a way that shocked the country, she told the audience of about 600, when her son Matthew was beaten, tied to a fence post and left for dead in Laramie, Wy. on Oct. 6, 1998 because he was gay.

He was discovered 16 hours later by a cyclist who from a distance thought he was a scarecrow. On Oct. 12, surrounded by family and friends, Matthew died without having regained consciousness.

"I don't want this to happen to anyone else," Mrs. Shepard said. "It's needless violence, it's needless hate. It takes up so much of our life and our energy.."

Mrs. Shepard noted a pattern of hate in this country which includes the events of Sept. 11.

"In June 1998, James Burke Jr. was murdered (chained and dragged behind a truck). In October 1998 Matthew was murdered. In April 1999 was Colombine," she said. "In less than a year all three of those horrible events took place -- all based in hate. It's not a gay thing. It's everywhere."

While she is concerned with hate in general, she focuses on gay and lesbian issues because of Matthew.

"Hate is a learned behavior, and I maintain if it's a learned behavior, we can unlearn it," she said.

Mrs. Shepard said she is fighting for equal, not special rights of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities.

"I think it's time in our society when we are mature enough and intellectual enough to understand that we all deserve the right to be happy, and not to discriminate against someone because you do not understand what they're about," she said, adding society must also stop tolerating hate language.

"In playgrounds today," she said, "you can hear 7-year-olds saying to each other, 'Oh, you're so gay.' Do you think they know what they're saying? No, they don't. But they've heard it before, and they know it's a negative power word. They know it's an insult."

Too often, she said, such language goes uncorrected.

While acknowledging the risks of "coming out," Mrs. Shepard said prejudice and discrimination won't be eliminated until gays and lesbians acknowledge their sexual orientation.

"I think that the only way that all of America -- or perhaps in the bigger scale, all of the world -- will understand the gay and lesbian community is if the cloak of mystery is removed from it."

And, she stressed, parents need to support their gay and lesbian children.

"I always thought the job of the parent was to love and support their children no matter what," she said. "We should sign contracts that say, first and foremost are my children."

Finally, everyone must become involved in their communities to eliminate hatred and discrimination, she said, adding, "We can become educated and responsible voters. ... Voting in America is a responsibility and a privilege, and to abuse it is shameful."

In December 1998, Mrs. Shepard and her husband Dennis established the Matthew Shepard Foundation to educate and to replace hate with understanding, acceptance and compassion.

Her talk was sponsored by Allies, Westminster's gay-straight alliance, as well as the Black Student Union, Student Government Association, the diversity coordinator and the college's student affairs office. The event was part of the college's celebration of Black History and Diversity Month.