WHEN Herald Staff Writer Erin Remai and I kicked around ideas for our annual Valentine's Day contest, I figured it would be more fun for her, a recently engaged young woman, than it would be for me -- a bitter divorcee.

Actually I'm a very, very happy divorced person, but bitter divorcee always sounds better in a commentary about the skepticism surrounding Cupid's holiday.

At least that's where I thought this column would head.

We decided to ask couples for their advice on holding a marriage together, making it last, keeping love alive. It seemed a little corny but we thought it would be fun.

We were overwhelmed by the response of longtime lovers still sharing wedded bliss.

Advice included communicate -- do it a lot, forgive -- do it more, and laugh -- do it all the time. Interestingly, not one entry discussed the bedroom, unless it was to say "don't go to bed angry."

And despite my desire to make fun of the holiday, to dress in black today, to mock Hallmark and candlelight, I found hope springing up under my cynical veneer.

According to the 40-plus responses we received, love can last -- and often does -- for couples from all walks of life.

And though love did not last my first time around, it is a comfort and a challenge to