Published Monday, March 25, 2002
SHARON
Caregivers told to accept help available from homesBy Erin Remai
Herald Staff Writer
Taking care of an elderly family member can be a rocky road.
That's what Diane Byrne addressed in her speech to residents and family members during a dinner last week at Cordia Commons at the Shenango Inn in Sharon.
Ms. Byrne, director of training and program development for Juniper Communities, the company that owns Cordia Commons, presented "The Path of Caregiving: It Needn't Be a Rocky Road," to provide some insight to caregivers.
Caregivers often find themselves on an emotional roller coaster, experiencing feelings of denial, guilt, frustration and anger.
"Those are very common emotions that caregivers go through in coping with the loss of a loved one ..." Ms. Byrne said. "We're all very different in how we respond to the caregiving experience. We all drive different cars. What works for us won't work for others."
According to statistics provided by the Shenango Inn:
On the "rocky road" of caregiving, Ms. Byrne said, "roadside assistance" is available. Many services are available in the community, such as adult daycare and Meals on Wheels, that can help ease a caregiver's burden.
As for placing a loved one in a nursing facility, a caregiver can be wracked with feelings of guilt, Ms. Byrne said.
"One of the things many of us have promised to our loved ones is 'I'll never put you in a home' ... don't make those promises," she said. "You never know what's going to happen, what the future is going to be ... sometimes placement in a facility is the best and right decision. It might not be a happy decision, but it may be the best and right one, not only for the person but for the caregiver."
Caregivers can experience burnout, and some may find the role-reversal disconcerting, Ms. Byrne said, because it changes the relationship, such as a daughter who now has to care for her mother or a husband who has to care for his wife. Placing a loved one in a facility can help re-normalize that role, Ms. Byrne said.
"A spouse can come in and visit with his wife, kiss her, have an ice cream cone with her, cuddle with her, and not have to be burdened with the types of personal care that a caregiver necessitates," Ms. Byrne said.
Ms. Byrne pointed out that many nursing facilities are very different from the "old age" homes of the past that the elderly generation remembers. She said it may be beneficial to visit homes before it becomes necessary to enter one.
Different levels of care are available. The Shenango Inn, for example, offers independent apartment living and assisted living for those who need a little extra help bathing or dressing, as well as respite care and adult daycare. Other facilities offer more nursing or medical care.
If a Shenango Inn resident begins to require more care than the facility can provide, the staff works with the family to transfer the individual to another facility, Ms. Byrne said.
"We would do that over a period of time, when we begin to notice they need more care. We let them know what we are able to provide," Ms. Byrne said.
You can e-mail Herald Staff Writer Erin Remai at
eremai@sharon-herald.com.