Published Saturday, March 15, 2003
heads to Fort Dix
to get assignment
in military callups
When James Beck found the perfect home for his family, one of the last things on his mind was the threat of war.
But that was months ago, and the purchase of the ranch-style home near Butler that he wanted dragged on for months. At long last, Beck, 33, found himself at a closing on the property Friday.
It came just as his unit, the 347th Quartermaster Company in Mercer County, prepared to travel to its mobilization site in Fort Dix, N.J. Beck is a first lieutenant in the Army Reserve.
Now, he'll probably get to spend no more than a single night in his new home. It will be up to his wife, 30-year-old Maricar, to unpack, repaint and settle in with their daughter, 4-year-old Emilee, on her own.
"You never get used to it," said Beck, who has been in the Reserve since he was 18. "If there's something you're planning, the military will get in the way. But I wouldn't change a thing."
It's never easy for members of National Guard and reserve units who are called up to leave their families, their jobs and their other responsibilities, but it's equally difficult for spouses, children and parents who have to pick up the load.
This time, it's not only that reservists are being sent to unknown destinations for an undeterimined amount of time. Adding to the anxiety is the fact that reservists and their families don't know when a war in Iraq will begin, if it starts at all.
Many descibe their lives as being on hold.
It was a shock when Nicole Otteni, 23, of Millcreek Township, Erie County, found out that her husband of eight months, 24-year-old Kevin, would be mobilized with the Army Reserve's 475th Quartermaster Company.
He became a reservist in 1997 as a way to pay for school, but the couple rarely discussed the possibility that he would be called.
But in January, two weeks after Kevin Otteni started a new job as a chemical technician, he learned he was headed to Fort Dix, where he's still waiting to be deployed.
Nicole says they had a little more than two days to prepare for what could be as many as two years apart.
"We didn't really sit and talk about finances or anything. All you can think about is, 'Oh my goodness, he's leaving.' You don't really think about the important stuff. You're frozen," Nicole said. "I'm slowly understanding the whole Army life."
With help from a support group for reservists' families, Nicole Otteni has begun tackling practical issues, such as taking over the family finances, making sure their insurance coverage was maintained, and learing how to care for the couple's 2-year-old daughter, Izabella, all on her own.
Dayna Gardner, whose husband has been in the Marine Corps for four years, has advice for families of civilian soldiers: Join a support group, stay busy and write lots of letters.
Because her husband, 28-year-old Cpl. Jerry Gardner Jr., is on active duty, 27-year-old Dayna realizes that her situation differs from reservists' families. But she sympathizes with spouses who have to learn to live on their own.
Her husband -- who is in Kuwait -- had been scheduled to be discharged this May. That's on hold now, she says. From her home in State College, Dayna and the couple's 4-year-old son, Chase, communicate with Jerry through letters and care packages.
"I don't feel nervous; it's more like frustration. Every week, there's a deadline and then that deadline is delayed. Then, thousand of miles away, the soldiers are getting tired." she said.
Rick and Karen Karlowsky, of Speers, Westmoreland County, were surprised when their 19-year-old son, Matt, announced that he joined the Army reserves in January 2002. He was mobilized two months ago with the Army's 363rd Military Police Detachment.
The Karlowskys placed a candle in one of their windows, a symbol of their wait for Matt to come home safely.
Matt Karlowsky had just started his first semester at Westmoreland County Community College when he was called up, so while he's proud to serve his country, he's also eager to return, his father said.
"His life is interrupted, but he's doing what he's proud to do," Rick Karlowsky said. "At the same time, he says, 'If we're going to go, go; if not, let me go home.' ''